From xkcd, "A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language. " Ahhh...the perfect combination.

The website comes with this "Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)."
Bliss....what's not to like?
Anyway (no content warning necessary for this one):

For the gift-challenged


If you're a perplexed Christmas shopper, here are a couple of Dave Barry's suggestions this year.

I could illustrate this first one—but I won't.  Suffice it to say the size range is 32A to 38C, in black.  Use your imagination.

This one gets my vote if only because for probably the first time since age 10, a size that would actually fit me is described in the catalog as "medium."  How kind.  Works for me, though.

Wine Rack

For the true wine connoisseur, there is nothing more enjoyable than sucking body-temperature wine from a tube connected to a polyurethane bladder concealed in a woman’s undergarment.

That, in a nutshell, is the appeal of the Wine Rack, a sports brassiere equipped with a bladder that holds 25 ounces of wine or other beverages. According to the manufacturer, you can wear the Wine Rack to “movies, concerts, ball games – anywhere you can imagine” and drink through “a drinking tube long enough to route as you wish.” And here’s a bonus: As your wine rack empties, your bosoms appear to shrink dramatically.

You will definitely want to give this product to all the classy women on your holiday list, as well as any men who for whatever reason — and far be it from the Gift Guide to judge — wear sports brassieres. Remember: This is the only wine-concealment device personally endorsed by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, who never goes anywhere without it.

Next up—snakes on a door.  I notice this one's been marked down to $9.  Can't understand why.

Martha Stewart Animated Snake Wreath

Nothing says “Welcome to my home!” like snakes. And when it comes to choosing an animated snake wreath — whether as a gift, or for your own personal use — what you’re looking for, above all else, is quality. That’s why we here at the Holiday Gift Guide strongly recommend that you ignore all the cheap “knockoff” animated snake wreaths on the market and go with the Martha Stewart model.

This is a beautifully crafted wreath festooned with realistic rubber snakes, which are connected to a battery-powered motor and some kind of electronic thing, so that when visitors approach your door, your snakes vibrate in a menacing rubber manner. Your guests are bound to be delighted, assuming they do not go into cardiac arrest.

This is the only animated snake wreath endorsed by both Metallica and the National Council of Churches.

But wait—there's more!

If only BJ's were open we wouldn't be forced to resort to—gasp!—the internet...

...something poultry this way comes...


Just in time for first!

Angry Birds? Hell, no! Angry Voters!

Thanks to Lonely Conservative for the great catch.  On a Saturday night, forget Dance Dance Revolution—play this game.  It's way more satisfying.

And at the parent site,

AttackWatch Alert! Snakebit...again

We toothless hillbillies here at Redneck Mansion are just a-hootin' and a-hollerin' over this bit of inspired ridicule.  Come and get us....


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