May all the poisons in the mud hatch out

So said our newest contributor, Claudius.  But thankfully, before uttering that curse—or blessing—he's had time to point us back to the future...


Decline and Fall

By Claudius

The decline and fall of the United States is traced by most historians back to the election of President Obama in 2008 and his reelection in 2012.  After his narrow election victory of 2012, Obama began a rapid shift to the left and moved to eliminate all checks and balances on his power.  Historians blame part of the resulting U.S. fall on House Republicans who failed to check the president’s continuing assumption of power.
In 2013, Republicans who controlled the House of Representatives gave in to the President, raised tax rates for small businesses and the job creating segment of the population, and allowed him to increase the national debt ceiling at will.  Later that year, they voted for an Obama stimulus package that sent money largely to construction unions, community organization units, and state and local governments.
The double dip recession of 2013 was the entry way to the second Great Depression which began in 2014.  Federal revenues dried up despite higher marginal tax rates.  Official unemployment figures reached 20%, the index including those too discouraged to look for work reached 40%.  In his state of the union address to the American people (Congress having been sent home), the President declared, “Our economy is in outstanding condition, 80% of our people have jobs, and confidence has never been higher.”
To deal with this economic catastrophe, President Obama, bypassing Congress, issued the “Emergency Enabling Act” (EEA).  Under EEA, the President could issue decrees and executive orders on any subject.  Further, his powers included suspending the Constitution until he determined the emergency was over.  As soon as the ink on the EEA was dry, President Obama invoked the act and declared the constitution irrelevant during the emergency.  Spokespersons for the administration pointed out that this also meant that the president’s term was no longer limited to four years but Obama would serve indefinitely, perhaps for life.
Shortly after the U.S. Supreme Court declared the EEA unconstitutional, President Obama issued his “Court Reform Decree” (CRD).  Under CRD, all justices appointed by any prior president’s terms were to end immediately.  President Obama, noting that there was no real reason why a president could not hold multiple offices, appointed himself to all nine seats on the Court.  All nine incumbent justices suddenly “retired” when it was learned their families had been taken to reeducation camps.
With the Dow back at 800, the Economic Empowerment Decree (EED) abolished the concept of private property.  From now on, the President said, “private property will not be allowed to stand in the way of progressive development of the U.S.  When the people need property or income, our rich exploiters shall give their fair share to their government.  For the rich, this is just a little bit more.  We will never take more than 100%.  And, we will be generous, and allow the American people a share of income and wealth.  We may even allow the private sector to continue to exist.”
The Employee Freedom Decree (EFD) declared that every American had the right and obligation to join a labor union and pay union dues.  NLRB elections were abolished as undemocratic and unfair to workers.
The Free Elections Decree (FED) eliminated the costly waste of resources for elections.  “There is no need for elections,” the Obama administration declared.  The will of the people is best served by the designation of leaders by their labor unions and those in power.
To eliminate state interference with federal operations, the State Empowerment Decree converted the states from sovereign bodies to postal divisions.  “The state governments are best empowered when they carry out federal policy,” President Obama said.  “We see no reason why states should be permitted to hamper citizen freedom by legislating for themselves.”
The Presidential Decision Decree (PDD) authorized the President to make exceptions, grant waivers, and to deauthorize any federal statutes at variance with administration policy.  “With this new Decree,” President Obama said, “We rationalize federal policy and make it consistent with the will of the people.  The dead hand of past congresses shall no longer control the future.  We, of this administration, freed from Congressional interference and terms of office, shall be able to go forward democratically.”
A coup was attempted by the military to restore the Constitution but failed because the military had been effectively dismantled and union groups protested any “interference” with the leader’s decisions.  Corporate executives were replaced by union overseers and all businesses were made part of the New National Recovery Act, their managers put on trial, price and wage controls instituted along with central planning, and their ownership declared to belong to the people, through the unions.
In 2015, the President enacted the Republican Eradication Decree (RED), declaring the Republican Party anti-statist and the captive of private property interests.  To protect the people’s freedom of political choice, the party was abolished.  To enforce its decrees, the government established the General State Police Organization (GESTAPO).  To protect freedom of opinion, prominent Republicans were rounded up and placed in Democratic Reeducation Camps.
The Reform our Schools Decree (RSD) established full federal control over schools and curricula.  Teacher certification was turned over to teacher unions and to preserve diversity of opinion, teachers were required to subscribe to the approved “Code for Teachers.”  Each school day was to begin with an ode to the President as our “Dear Leader” and an Islamic prayer for his continuance in office to do the “people’s work.”
The Religious Freedom Decree (RFD) denounced the U.S. erroneous Judeo-Christian heritage and declared the U.S. to be by right an Islamic nation.  The office of Caliph was established and the President named the first Caliph and Theocrat.  Those who would not exercise their freedom of religion to convert to Islam were stripped of citizenship and personhood.
The Decree Against Racism (DAR) and Equal Outcomes Decree (EOD) were established to atone for hundreds of years of injustice.  The DAR gave first preference in employment, housing, government jobs, and public accommodation to “specified minority groups,” while the EOD specified that for any matter in which outcomes were unfavorable to the specified minorities, they would be adjusted to “establish equity.”  Only one minority was specified.
Meanwhile, federal credit dried up.  Few were willing to lend money to a government that borrowed more than it raised.  The U.S. endeavored to get a “bail out” from other developed nations but few if any offers were forthcoming.  Most of the world seemed to enjoy the U.S’s discomfort and were happy to dismember American power.  In 2015, the dollar was no longer accepted as the world’s trading currency.
By 2016, the U.S. found it could no longer afford its military and began to dismantle most of it.  Ships were mothballed, airplanes were not modernized, and weapons technology and the space program virtually abandoned.  The ultimate humiliation came when Mexico, raising old boundary concerns, invaded the U.S.  The resulting U.S. defeat led to the cession of all the territory the U.S. had taken from Mexico in the War of 1848, including California, Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, Utah, Nevada, and parts of Colorado.
The population of the U.S. polarized.  Conservatives and Republicans voted with their feet and left the coastal areas of the U.S., moving to what were then termed “red states.”  The “red states” got redder and the “blue states,” more liberal and “progressive” got bluer.  When the two segments could no longer co-exist, they dissolved the U.S. and broke into separate confederations.  The blue segment rapidly descended into total bankruptcy, the east coast was taken over by an Islamic government which imposed Shariah law while the west coast fell under Chinese domination.
Within the space of twenty years, the U.S. went from world power to third rate nation and ultimately ceased to exist as early twenty-first century people knew it.
Americans were baffled and bewildered by the speed of their decline.  Historians noted that while some aspect of Rome lasted almost two thousand years, things happen much faster today.  They concluded that once Obama put the U.S. on the road to decline, its fall was inevitably speedy.